I wrote in my journal the other night that traveling alone is kind of fun, because I like having only myself to rely on. Sometimes I get lost, but I end up seeing things I wouldn't have otherwise. 

Well.

 

I spent the 30th walking around with my camera and having fun taking pictures. I had started to feel like I really didn't want to be in Istanbul another day, just because it's so big and so touristy, and I've seen most of what I wanted to see that I can in such a short amount of time. Plus, I was so excited to see my host family and Ankara. But having my camera out just lightened my mood a whole lot. I didn't really get many good pictures, but it's funny how different I see the world when I have a camera in my hands. Little things become beautiful. I went to Istanbul Modern, too, which was cool. I like the permanent exhibit, which has basically the progression of Turkish art from the late Ottoman period to today. 

I like the people I meet when I'm traveling alone, too. I stopped and talked with these chestnut sellers between the Aya Sofya (I had to see my love one more time, even if it was night and I couldn't go in) and the Blue Mosque. When they found out I spoke some Turkish, they immediately asked, "Do you know Kurdish?" and then proceeded to teach me a ton of phrases I'd probably already been taught by some ferry crewmembers in the East. It made me think, though, about the fact that they were so open about being Kurdish. Not like they should be ashamed, but because I'm foreign, it's likely that all I've heard about Kurds was the PKK. I'm glad they aren't.

Anyway, I decided not to buy the ticket from the train station the other night because they didn't have any sleeper car tickets available. Instead, I thought since I'd never seen the countryside between Istanbul and Ankara, I'd take a bus during the day. So I got to the bus office near Taksim Square to catch the shuttle to the main station for my 12:00, and before I got on I made sure that it was the right bus. Apparently something got lost in translation. In other words, "Yes, this goes to the otogar" means, "No, this does not go to the otogar." So I got on the bus, and when it was 11:50 and we were seriously in the middle of nowhere, I asked the couple next to me where this was going. "Sabanci University," they said. Well crap. 

Sabanci University is HUGE, by the way. The buildings are ginormous, and they look (like a lot of universities in Turkey) like it was really modern when it was built, which was about 20 years ago.

Anyway, I asked the people at the gate to call me a taxi to the nearest otogar, because I was not going all the way back to Istanbul. I knew I was already a ways southeast of the city, and I figured there would be a stop somewhere close. I got to a town called Gebze a ways east on the Marmara, and had to wait for the next bus. It felt good to get into more of what I think of as Turkey - small towns where nobody really speaks English, and they don't have to add the word "Turkish" on top of "Restaurant," because what other kind of restaurant would there be in a town like this? They definitely were not used to foreigners there - especially not lone foreign girls. They were so nice - and the guys were all hair gel and shiny, pointy shoes. And they didn't even make me pay for a new ticket!

I ate at the restaurant in the otogar to keep out from under the fat, wet snowflakes that had been falling all day. While I was in there one of the guys who worked for my bus company came over to hang out with the staff. They started teasing him about being scared of dogs. While the waiters held him, the cook went to the back door and called ("Koş! Koş!") to a couple of the giant sand-and-silver sheepdogs that run wild in packs in Turkey. The dogs ran up and stood, tentatively, a couple of steps in from the back door, wagging their tales and looking like they didn't know if they were about to get a big piece of chicken or a smack on the nose. All the while the guy struggled to get away - they finally let him go. They were all laughing by the end of it, even the teasee. 

I sat next to this really sweet lady on the bus who showed me pictures of her second grade students making hats that looked like the Pope's, only they had giant cut-outs of vegetables on them. We had fun taking pictures of the countryside, which looked like a fairytale with tall pine trees covered in snow.  

And now, Ankara'dayım! Yay! It felt so weird to be on that bus yesterday, and just know that I was in this city. It just feels different to be here, rather than Istanbul. Plus, I can get off the bus and know exactly where to go, no problem, no second guessing myself, no map checking. There are no words to tell how weird it feels to walk out of my little room into the hallway and see Gözde and Nilgün talking in the kitchen. Or sit here on these white couches with my feet in my pink slippers, talking to my host sister about everything that has happened since we last talked. And the streets outside are covered in snow - just like the last time I moved in with them. I feel like Nilgün told me she felt in July - that I was just away on a trip, and now I'm home again. And even though almost everyone from my program is gone, and yeah, it'll never be the same as it was this spring - despite all that, this place, the way I feel about it, that stuff's mine. I chose to study here because I was already in love with it.

Last night I celebrated New Year's with my host sister and her friends at her boyfriend's new apartment, which is really nice. New Year's here is like Christmas, without the Jesus (so it's like Christmas)- they have decorated trees as celebrations and exchange gifts. They even sing "Jingle Bells". A lot. We cooked dinner (with stocking-shaped cake for dessert) and played the Turkish version of Taboo, which I actually didn't suck at, despite being hardly fluent in Turkish. We were having so much fun we didn't notice the clock had struck 12. We spent today messing around in our PJs and playing Risk, which is still a freaking long game, no matter what language it's played in. We got home home for the first time a couple of hours ago.

Well, I should get to bed so I can get up - tomorrow's my first day of real research time, since things were closed today for New Year's. I'm going down to the Turkish Language Association tomorrow. They said I'd get to talk to somebody, and then maybe I'll go do a couple of interviews with normal people. We'll see. Things on the research side just seem to be figuring themselves out, without much work from me or from Gözde, my handy translator. 

More in a few days.